Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Is it a macaroni noodle necklace?

Sometimes... not always, but sometimes I wonder if I am just that kid who spends all day, struggling with diligence over that beauteous work of art, beaming with pride and joy as I add each piece and each splotch of color, then with an exuberance that resembles a golden retriever puppy, I put the newly created object out there, and the world, like a young mom, smiles and says all these wonderful things but deep down inside knows it is just a macaroni necklace.

I made the above wind chime for my mom. It is sitting on my craft table, waiting to be given to her. But then that feeling, that familiarity hit me, like I knew I was resembling something... then I realised, what it was, I was feeling like the sheepish kid handing something to my mom that I had made with my own two hands.

As a child, I was famous for spending all day on a project and then getting frustrated and throwing it in the trash. The sometimes imperfection and uniqueness of handmade has always something I have struggled with. With my own children, I encourage them in that their mistakes make things unique and wonderful. And I am sure my mom said the same things to me. But I would never believe her.... kind of the same way my kids are. Being a perfectionist and having a fragile self esteem makes it difficult for me to put my work out there.

But, I have made great stride in dealing with this, I am so proud of my Etsy store and I always feel good when I look at the things I have for sale there. But for some reason, a lot of the old feelings of inadequacy can seep back in when it comes to making something for my mom or family. So strange.


Alyssa Elza said...

You have been tagged! Check out my blog and you'll understand:)Let's keep this going! Thanks:)

UniqueNurseGranny said...

Love the work.It is that Mother thing, probsbly.

twiddlestix said...

Be confident! I love your shop too...glad it makes you happy! ;) You have great work.